im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
