how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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