I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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