I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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