So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
