New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
