Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She even gives head with a lisp.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
