So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
