The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
two words: eviction party
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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