R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
