Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
