I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
don't judge my taste in strippers
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
