That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
