1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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