apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
