dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
