Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
