i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
