when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
