Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
