I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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