tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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