i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
