Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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