now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
