butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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