Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
