How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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