Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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