Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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