wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
