By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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