so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
