You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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