if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
