this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
