Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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