The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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