i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
