grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
