i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Help. Why am I so naked?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
