Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
