I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
