I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
