Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
