Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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