rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
