I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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