I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
