Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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